Emotional security is the prerequisite for any relationship.

Ask yourself – Do I feel safe with the person I am with? Do I trust to be myself when I am with them? Are they accepting of my love and available to know what I need? Do they care to ask what I need and take the time to listen and hear?

And do I feel my best when I am with them? Am I inspired? Am I energized? Am I confident and do I feel loved and accepted?

Do I have an opportunity to share and feel  accepted? Do I feel attractive and desired? Do I feel encouraged and affirmed? Do I want to spend my free time with that person? Do they want to spend time with me? Are they interested in my well being and willing to help me when I need them?

If I answer these questions affirmatively, I know in the right relationship for the right reason.

But what does it mean to be a in a good relationship?

Many people use this phrase easily, and mostly attach a different meaning to this phrase.

A basis for good relationship is trust with which comes certainty. Certainty that this person is going to be there for us when we need them, particularly when life gets tough.

A good relationship is with someone who accepts us as we are and is generous enough to receive our love. Someone who will trust themselves to rely on us and be reliable himself (herself).

This someone is invested in our well being and rejoices in our success, who has the courage to tell the truth about themselves, and who trusts enough to be authentic with us. He or she expects the same of us.

In a good relationship, they will enjoy spending time with you and share special moments with you. He or she will also give you the freedom of space when you need it, and ask for it when he or she needs it.

When conflicts occur, a good partner will do his or her best to resolve it with us in a Win-Win fashion, always being considerate of the value of the relationship with you. He or she will expect the same of you.

A good relationship is generous with you; with time and emotion. When financial need arises, he or she will also be there for you, and expect the same of you.

A good relationship means trust, certainty, and peace.

A good friend and a lover will forgive and be compassionate towards you, and expect the same of you.

A lover, in addition to being our best friend, will cherish us as a special person in their intimate life. His or her priority is that we feel our best when we are with him or her.

A really good friend and a lover will invest in helping you build yourself to be the best you can be. Never sweat the small stuff but honor the gift a relationship with you brings.


Written by Anita Kozlowski, Founder of Live With Power NLP Seminars

Anita Kozlowski is an internationally licensed NLP trainer, therapist, strategic business and success coach. She has used innovative therapy to change lives through a unique system that has been proven to work. As an internationally licensed NLP trainer, she has trained thousands of individuals from all walks of life in pure NLP, for which she has received recognition on three continents.