Everything you have ever accomplished is a result of you having said Yes to something
All the bad results you have generated are a product of you having said Yes, and having done them well.
Moreover, the unpleasant things that have happened to you, are on some level related to an internal yes, which was an indirect invitation for these things to happen.
You may say you didn’t agree to the bad stuff that happened to you. On the surface level you are absolutely right. You did not willingly invite a hostile human into your life, nor you did not invite someone who ripped you off. You did not consciously invite rejection from someone whom you helped.
Yet, bad stuff did happen.
A typical reaction is to feel like a victim who was a passive recipient of unfairness, or a person who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
According to this view, there was nothing you could do about it because it was a random act of unfairness.
This is a comfortable position to take, as it absolves you of the responsibility another point of view would require. By the same token, it prevents you from a deep realization that you are more accountable than you thought.
By saying YES to yourself as a victim, you are saying NO to yourself as being in control of your life.
Sometimes, it just feels good to feel bad.
Feeling bad easily becomes a habit, and a source of false security, as it determines what results you can expect.
Except, it was always you who has been creating your results, and this creation mostly happened outside of our awareness.
We cannot create anything that we do not expect, somewhere inside the vault of your subconscious mind.
Inside of your subconscious mind, there exists a parallel story, to the one you have been telling yourself. The problem is, you have naturally been buying to the story you are aware of, and created surface level agreements, based upon this story.
When you have removed the surface level story and gained the access to deep inside, you may realize the real YES you have been expressing through your unsatisfactory results.
You have always been a We are a product of your “yeses”, and got in life not what you wanted, but what you subconsciously expected.
How doe this understanding translate an unexpected illness into an unconscious expectation?
This is where it gets really interesting.
On the surface level, an illness can be defined as a malfunction of the body. It is defined by specific symptoms. On a deeper level, it also reminds us of what needs rectifying. It is kind of an alarm bell.
On a deeper level,. many things are happening outside of our awareness. It’s been proven, for example, that emotional trauma is directly linked to diseases.
From this point of view, your physical body is, on the surface level, a map of what happens inside, behind the scenes.
If you believe you are ill, most likely you will be ill. This belief is saying YES to yourself as an ill person, creating a rippling effect across the fabric of your life, and most definitely, a direct impact upon your body that responds to the subconscious commands you era giving to it.
Your body merely reflects a deep and complex internal syntax such as: what we believe about ourselves, what we think we deserve, what we believe we are capable of, the level of happiness, stress or frustration.
It is also a chemical factory producing “happy” and “unhappy” chemicals as a result of our thought processes. These chemicals over time, generate particular chemical impacts that have a cascading effect on the body.
This chain can be reverse engineered down to its root. Very often, even the most subtle shifts at your subconscious level, will generate a sudden shift in health. Some people spontaneously recover, without any logical medical explanation.
I have seen amazing results where, for example, some people recovered from cancer spontaneously.
I once had a client who regained her hearing in one ear, after being deaf for more than a decade. I have also seen people spontaneously get rid of allergies, pain, high blood pressure, and other pervasive health problems.
Let’s briefly take a look at another scenario – having to deal with a hostile person.
Depending on how you look at this situation, you can be saying NO to what they are doing and Yes to yourself being a victim, or Yes to
The hostility we receive is merely a reflection of how hostile THAT person feels towards themselves. They project their hostility on us. They have a created a movie with a particular script in it.
They are a walking evidence of the relationship they have with themselves.
They also remain in our life as a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves.
From an NLP perspective, instead of blaming them for what they are saying or doing, we need to ask ourselves a fundamental question – “what is it I needed to have believed and accepted about myself in order to have create this situation?” Suddenly we may get some deep answers about how we relate to ourselves.
We must recognize our relationships reflect the relationship we have with ourselves. This shift in our focus of attention instantly creates accountability for our situation, and creates an instant opportunity to start thinking of strategies how to change the situation.
What about a succession of disappointments? Well, this problem, too, has been self- generated.
You must recognize that most of the time we get what we subconsciously expect. This expectation is rooted in how we subconsciously perceive ourselves.
On a subconscious level we have a clear representation of who we are and what we deserve. Our subconscious expectation sometimes totally doffers from our conscious representation.
On the surface level, you may think you are confident and successful. On a subconscious level, you may be feeling small and unworthy. You station in life merely works as a mask to hide what you really believe about yourself.
What you believe about yourself determines the size of your goals or your vision for your life. It determines your income and defines your relationships.
What you believe about yourself is a YES you have applied to yourself, and to every aspect of your life
The answer lies in how we represent ourselves on a deep level, what we believe we are worthy of, what we believe we are capable of, and also, how we created our goals. Changes at any of these levels will yield a seemingly magical transformation.
How others relate to us is also a reflection of how we communicate with them. We have some powerful methods to take control of our communication and how to restore control and confidence in situations we feel vulnerable or uncertain. These powerful skills revolutionize our relationships and put us in charge of our own bus.