NLP is a powerful method to help you become a great life skills coach

If you are a Life skills coach, you have probably experienced some common frustrations in your work. Here are the common points of frustration among the coaches, and ways you can alleviate the frustration:

Problems Encountered by Life Skills Coaches

1. Inability to get to the root of the problem.
You have been exposed to a client who seems to have many issues, and while describing the problem to you, takes you on multiple tangents. You are unsure where to start, what issue to address, and how to remain focused amidst the stream of problems. You have difficulty finding the root of it all.

The client seems to be “all over the place,” and your natural tendency is to zoom into the most “obvious” issue, ignoring the rest.

The truth is, all information is valid and connected to one common root. The client’s story is only a metaphor for a deep meaning that often remains hidden in the realms of the client’s other than conscious mind.

Connecting all the pieces simultaneously and finding the common denominator, I call the DNA of the problem, is a real art. It is also fundamentally important to be able to do that, as in the absence of this skill, the coaching process becomes weak.

2. Inability to “read the client” – Not getting to the desired result

Here the issue is rooted either in #1 – inability to get to the root of the problem or, in the very process of coaching. Coaches often formulate their opinion about the problem early into the coaching session, and from that moment attempt to direct the process based on the original assumption.

When the process of coaching has been contaminated by the coach’s expectation, the coach is effectively leading the client to a predetermined (by the coach) result. The coaching session is now about the coach, not the client.

The client ceases to exist. The process becomes about the coach being “right”. In effect, the coach becomes oblivious to the client’s internal process and is incapable of facilitating the process on the client’s internal turf. The coach does not utilize the client’s process. The outcome will not be meaningful for the client.

There are many reasons coaches contaminate the coaching process. One is the desire to be “right”. In this case the ego is involved. The coach equates himself/herself with success and must “win”. The fear of failure is present. We have the whole coaching program designed to getting rid of fear.

Second, the coach wants to control the process. Here again, the fear of failure is present.
Another option is the coach has missed a key piece of information that would lead him/her to guide the client to the right (for the client) track.
In this scenario the coach has not distilled the right questions to ask the client, which means the coach is lacking precision and the internal strategic thinking process required to formulate the right questions.

They are “missing the boat”.

A good training for coaches must focus on training the strategic precision of thinking.

3. Inability to set meaningful coaching/therapeutic goals.
In this case the coach is lacking a strategic approach to helping the client. There is no vision or the big picture.

Typically the life skills coach will focus on the small “chunk” and attempt to solve a small problem, lacking the ability to see the problem as a holistic part of the whole. Focusing on the small chunk, the coach does not understand the scope of the client’s problem.

The underlying reasons for such a strategy could be as follows: fear of failure, hence playing small and safe, a lack of strategic systemic thinking, inability to set therapeutic goals (there is a system to do that).

Each of these problems can easily be solved through a well properly training for coaches, which should happen on multiple levels:

1. Understanding yourself and “getting out of your own way”. In other words “cleaning the junkyard of your own ego and beliefs” so that you can be open to stepping into the reality of your client, and “play the game in their garden”, not yours.

This requires removing personal limiting beliefs, judgments and interpretations. This is the hardest part of the training as coaches typically love being “right”. Unless you “get out of your own way” you will never be able to do transformational work.

2. Developing a systemic and strategic approach to coaching a client. In other words, you must be able to see the client as a whole, and understand not just what the problem is, but how the client created and maintains their problem.

The how is fundamental because you can change the process, leading to a different result. When you are coaching clients for excellence, you must be able, in your own mind, create a model for excellence. Only then you have created the pathway for the client to achieve it.

3. Learning the art of reading people and removing the “guess factor” from the equation. Here again, you must remove your own expectations from the equation and ask meaningful questions that are valid in your client’s model of the world.

You have to accept the possibility your initial assumptions were wrong. “Get out of your own way”.

4. Learning how to strategically and systemically influence meaningful change. You must have the skills to facilitate change on a subconscious level, because naturally the client may present resistance.
Interestingly people often put up walls when coming close to the core issue. As a coach you must be aware of this fact and equipped to handle it with elegance and skill.

5. Setting measurable goals for your client. Here you must become a visionary and see beyond what is. You are “seeing into the future” To do that you must have developed strategic and systemic thinking skills.
As a visionary, you must be able to “step into the future” and bring it into the now, so the goal becomes tangible. This is the formula for transformational coaching.

Our NLP Practitioner of NLP training is a strategic platform to build your coaching business.
You will gain the skills to assist your clients move towards a compelling future.