I found with many clients that when they come with a problem resultant from a negative consequence of dysfunctional behaviour, they deeply wish to keep the behaviour (as it does provide pleasure AND eradicate the negative consequences such as obesity, poor finances, “fried liver (from alcohol) et)c.
When threatened with the removal of behavior they often defend it as the fear of losing the positive aspect (pleasure) is uncomfortable.
The idea here is to identify the positive aspects of the behavior and find ways to help the client keep it in the absence of harmful activities. For example, how can we help them find relaxation and peace in the absence of reaching for another glass of vodka? Feel attractive in the absence of purchasing another pair of (Prada shoes, on a salary budget), feel sexy without ingesting cocaine.
The process is to find the positive aspects, the context where it happens (hence the meaning), triggers and strategies of getting into it.
Once that had been done, we can use reframing pattern to make the actual behaviour unpalatable and find evidence where the positive aspect of that old behaviour can be experienced. I had a client who compulsively purchased very expensive shoes (creating over a 100,000 dollars credit card debt). I followed with her the whole process of buying from the moment of feeling stressed and "having to buy”, step by step through reaching for the card, the stress it may not work, guilt when going home, hiding the shoes from her husband, making it all awfully unpleasant.
She discovered she could feel sexy barefoot on the beach and the shoes were just a poor metaphor for finding that feeling, and also significance.
She stopped buying shoes on a weekly basis and is in the process of restoring her finances.
Testimonial
Going in to NLP, not to sure of where it would take me, I knew the second I met Anita that I would be going somewhere good. Her way of teaching is unique! Her flexibility, her presence in the moment and her way of understanding people and the world around her is truly amazing. The NLP seminar I took with Anita and Live with Power has changed my view of the world, and therefore my life. It is the best investment I have ever done, and I know it will benefit me in so many ways. I can see clearly now.