WHY SHOULD WORLD LEADERS BUY DIAPERS AND GO TO DISNEYLAND
BY Anita Kozlowski, Licensed Trainer of NLP/DHE
All conflict is a result of a lack of understanding between people and the fact people adopt beliefs based on faulty logical structures. Because beliefs, particularly identity level beliefs (and deep values) are a part of what people consider to be "themselves", they are willing to defend them with their lives.
or even KILL.
Big words that may be a compound of many beliefs; layer upon layer become truths and turn into "identities" that are static and need to be protected and defended, just like buildings. In response to perceived "threat" emotion arise and a whole physiological response is generated.
Now is the time to Kill - in the name of God (whatever that label implies)
In order to alleviate conflict, which happens between two or more people (including societies), first the "angry" party needs to identify what it is they REALLY are angry about. Is it about a perceived threat to the something” that is held important, is it a threat to their own identity that is framed in the belief or is it a hysterical response to the fact someone else may have a different understanding?
Tantrums are nothing else than an impotent reaction to someone else's choice.
Now is the time to KILL them-either with words or a gun - In the name of GOD
(or a variation of thereof encompassed in different phraseology).
What If...
people stopped for a moment and asked themselves a different question? What is it I want? Why is it important to me that X feels EXACTLY the same as ME, ME ME?
What would happened IF X did not feel EXACTLY the same way I , I , I feel?
What is it they need to be happy and how can we agree to disagree respectfully?
What is it they really want?
Is it possible that we are arguing about something different than we assume we are disagreeing? Most of the time this is the case.
What If
We found out we really want the same thing?
Maybe I it is NOT the time to kill them or throw a tantrum (whichever tools are present).
Conflict between humans and nations is nothing else than delusory dance of individuals focused on defending their own point if view, oblivious to that of others and mistakenly certain their beliefs have something to do with Who they are.
I ask some very angry and some very serious clients if they were 3 years old once? (some had been there more than once and some never left. These are easy to fix).
When they agree, I ask; "Do you agree you wore a diaper once before?
Yes, they say.
Very well then, my friend you know what its like to shit yourself, I say. When you go back to a time you were 3 years or two years old, who were you? You must have gotten your Masters degree in conflict, or not? Maybe a PhD???????????????????? or Nobel Peace Price in arguing?
Would it be a problem then to play in a sandbox with your friend from across the border? Would you have fun in Disneyland - both of you?
Maybe its time to get to the drawing board and start again.
I suggest world leaders from conflicting cultures should hold their summits in Disneyland. spinning round and round on all the rides should they talk about how they hate each other. A Small World ride is a very good beginning.
Maybe throw a temper tantrum on a magic carpet next door.
That's a good start my friends.